Gaze..

When our daughter came to us at four months old she was nearly 14 months old before she held my gaze. I had to wear her in her sling and worked hard with her to dispel the walls she had put up in her early life.

Wadley was a little freaked out finding himself in the arms of this funny looking, funny speaking woman who kept telling him she "renmen ou"d him. loved him.

This photo was taken on Wednesday, he was gazing intently at my face by then, with such an intensity that it was hard to meet his eyes. To look into them and know that in a few days I was going to have to remove myself from his gaze...
I take such comfort in this photo though because it is hopeful. I believe if we can get them home soon it will not be almost a year before he feels that connection and security again.

The photo on the right is day one.. the one on the left day three.

On the whole the boys were very mellow for the week we had them. The one exception to that rule was the afternoon after we had visited the zoo. To say they were a little over stimulated by that trip would be like saying I am a little bit British!

This cheeky grin belies the  fact that a little boy's world went from four walls to goats, monkeys, rabbits, trees and french fries! and it freaked him out!
 There was none of the pointing, babble and animal noise imitations on this trip.. just a lot of stillness and looking. (can you imagine what he is going to do when we show him his first gorilla or elephant!

 Not sure who was more interested in who in this photo...

Starting to express true displeasure despite being held close..

 But the calm went way when we got home and my exhausted boys were not going to lie down and sleep. Wadley had a little meltdown and even my placid Peter fussed. I ended up holding them both and patting backs for them to fall asleep. Wadley briefly went back to hitting his head rhythmically .. something he hadn't done the whole week.

While I was kicking myself for putting the boys into an over stimulating situation I was glad to get the confirmation of what makes them feel insecure... basically anything bigger than a room!
So once these little guys get home we will be working on a LOT of eye contact, we will need to hold them close and not share them around for a while, we will need to take the stimulation out of our environment (not so easy with a five year old who is VERY full on!) and let them process little by little...and THEN.. I'm taking them to the zoo!